Killing Me
by Queerio
Summary: A fic written from Brittany's perspective. Set at the beginning of their last High School year, but Santana is 'dating' Karofsky. It will end up being a cute Brittana fic...I promise.


**AN:** So this idea came to be at...3.30 this morning and I had to write it out. It'll be about...three chapters max, possibly four if I draw it out with some angst ;).

If there are mistakes I apologise, I have read through this fic a few times so there shouldn't be .

I don't own any of Glee, though I wish I did sometimes

* * *

Brittany hated every second of it. Who could blame her?

The woman she loved was hanging off the arm of David Karofsky.

David. Fucking. Karofsky.

She had never had a serious problem with the guy before, sure he picked on Kurt but Brittany knew the real reason behind it. People always thought she was stupid, but she could read people so easily.

Karofsky was gay and not just that, he was so gay for Kurt.

So on some level Brittany pitied the guy, being the head jock at McKinley, being so high up the social ladder, and having to hide who he was every single day.

In the back of Brittany's mind it made sense that Santana would pair with him, especially since she had knocked the Latina back for Artie.

Santana was hurting and she wanted something to take her mind off it, that's all David was, a distraction.

It still tore her to pieces though. So Brittany took the Bull by the horns and decided that something needed to be done.

The moment she decided this was when Jacob Ben-Israel had asked Santana if Karofsky and her were soul mates.

Santana stared right at her and said yes. Brittany caught the hidden meaning in her words, the longing look at her but she still felt her stomach drop.

This time tomorrow it would be all around the school that the ogre and her best friend were star crossed lovers, meant to be.

It was the straw that broke the camel's back.

In that moment Brittany decided to call Santana out in the best way possible.

* * *

She sat at the back of the room, avoiding everyone, just watching.

When Shue arrived and began blabbering about this week's assignment she tuned herself out.

As he finished Brittany tuned back in, hearing Rachel go straight in and asking if she and Finn would be allowed to perform the first song.

Everyone sighed, bored of Finchel already.

Mr. Schue looked around the room cautiously, seeing if anyone had any objections. As his eyes fell on Brittany she raised her hand.

When the curly haired man finally recovered from his shock he called upon Brittany.

"While I'm sure all of us would love to watch that barf fest of a duet, I was wondering if I could perform first today." She glanced at everyone in the room, noticing Santana hold back a chuckle and a few members looking at her shocked.

Rachel and Finn just looked indignant, Brittany could already see Rachel's mouth opening in protest.

Mr. Schue must have also noticed because he just held his hand up in her general direction.

"Why I don't appreciate the insult in there Brittany, I see no problem in you performing first this week." He smiled at her, causing a wave of nausea to hit her. Did this man not understand just how creepy he was?

She shook her head and walked up to the piano and taking a deep breath. When she felt ready she spoke.  
"This goes out to someone in this room, they should know who they are and I'm pretty sure everyone else will know too" she nodded towards the band.

Everyone knew the song as soon as the band started playing.

_I'm coming out of my cage  
And I've been doing just fine  
Gotta gotta be down  
Because I want it all_

She knew this was a risk, openly admitting her feelings about Santana and Karofsky 'dating'. The lyrics just a hit a nerve with her though. They explained her emotions way better than she ever could.

_It started out with a kiss  
How did it end up like this?  
It was only a kiss  
It was only a kiss_

She thought back to the first kiss that she and Santana had shared. It was when they were in middle school, both young and inexperienced in such things. They had both decided that the logical thing to do was to practice on each other. If only they knew that three years later they would still be 'practicing for the boys', despite there being so many boyfriends in that time.

_Now I'm falling asleep  
And she's calling a cab  
While he's having a smoke  
And she's taking a drag_

The first time Santana and her had sex was at a party. They were fifteen and had slowly progressed from kissing to groping, that still didn't seem to be enough though.

Then they had gotten invited to Puck's house party. The plan was to arrive together, have a few drinks and then leave, because they knew what a creep Puck was.

The plan fell apart after just fifteen minutes. They arrived together sure, but then there was a lot of alcohol and dirty dancing and then sex just….happened. It was in the guest room and afterwards, in the hazy moments, Brittany remembered Santana jumping off the bed and getting dressed within seconds.

Despite being close to sleep after getting all tuckered out Brittany reluctantly pulled herself off the bed and also got dressed. When she turned to speak to Santana she realised the girl was gone.

_Now they're going to bed  
And my stomach is sick  
And it's all in my head_

But she's touching his chest now  
He takes off her dress now  
Let me go

As she sang the verse Brittany locked eyes with Santana, trying to convey that this is what happened every time she saw the brunette hanging off jock strap's arm in the halls.

Trying to convey every emotion she had felt in the last few days, weeks even. The betrayal, the hurt, the anger, every fucking thing she felt she wanted to express right there and then in that look and this song.

_And I just can't look its killing me  
And taking control_

Jealousy, turning saints into the sea  
Swimming through sick lullabies  
Choking on your alibis

She emphasised the killing me line, wanting Santana to know that her heart was breaking.

_But it's just the price I pay  
Destiny is calling me  
Open up my eager eyes  
'Cause I'm Mr Brightside_

Brittany broke eye contact on this verse, not being able to take the emotions anymore, not wanting to feel anything but having every emotion crash into her like waves.

She threw her arms out, looking at all the other Glee members, seeing the understanding in their eyes.

Her vision became cloudy but she carried on with the song, not once looking back at Santana.

She was coming towards the end now.

_I never  
I never  
I never_

Her voice cracked on that line, the tears now flowing down her cheeks, her cobalt coloured eyes turning a stormy grey.

_I never_

As she sang the last line she locked eyes with Santana again. All she saw was confusion but as the song finally ended she began to see understanding and a barrage of emotions that she couldn't read all at once.

It was too much.

She bolted from the room, hearing a familiar voice calling her name as she ran.


End file.
